Working toward that Bikini Body

I recently read a post on some form of social media (it’s Monday and my memory fails me as to which one) about how to get a bikini body. It pretty much went like this: 1) Buy a bikini and 2) put it on. I couldn’t agree more. I was once in the school of thought that I would never be caught dead in a bikini. No way was my white flabby tummy ever seeing the light of day. NEVER! When I was a pre-teen, I’d even opt for a t-shirt over my one-piece swimsuit.  Then I turned thirty and all fucks flew out the window (sorry Memaw). 

I saw a really cute retro bikini, and I decided that I must have it for my next vacation. It started out only making appearances in small circles and foreign countries. Now, it is my favorite swimsuit. I even bought a new bikini top for this summer to change it up a little. I’ve seen the vitriol spouted by some about fatties in bikinis.  Who cares? Does it really matter what we wear to the beach or pool or lake? Does it? It’s hot as hell outside.  Can’t we all try to beat the heat together and present a united front against a sweaty summer?

 

I recently have been feeling body-conscious and needed the reminder that I gave up caring about what my body looks like in a swimsuit. So I encourage you to wear whatever you feel most comfortable in this summer, and if you want a bikini body just follow this simple guide: Buy a bikini and put it on.


  

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Crack Attack

I need a talented designer to design some workout pants for the ladies with big booties and thighs and a smaller waist. It never fails that I am worried about my crack hanging out during yoga and other exercise activities like squats and stretches. I buy the pants with drawstring in the waist, but as I lose more inches in the waist area and am developing more muscle in my butt and thighs, I’m having some issues. I’ve threatened that I’m going to wear suspenders to the gym, but I just envision the suspenders flying off and popping me in the eye the first time I dive forward from mountain pose to forward fold.

I’m tired of spending precious seconds of my workout (precious I tell you) pulling up my pants in between sets or poses. I pull the drawstring tight, but my little exhibitionist of a butt-crack likes to make an appearance anyway.  You have been warned if you are ever behind me at the gym.

 

P.S. I just dropped a (yogurt) ranch-covered baby carrot down my cleavage.  The road to healthy is hard this week.

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Gym Fails… Take 1

I know that I seem like this very polished and put together weightlifter from my blog entries (that’s sarcasm), but I mess up at the gym too. Hopefully, my goof-ups will encourage you to keep going even if you get something wrong every once in a while. Here lately, it feels like I’ve been getting things wrong a lot.

Last week, I went to the gym without my workout buddy because our schedules were off. I was feeling pretty good as I sauntered upstairs because I had just set a new treadmill PR (14:05 mile). I start the first half of my weight-lifting routine without issue. It was a Saturday morning so the gym wasn’t too crowded. I walk over to get 25 pound dumbbells for my overhead presses, and of course, they were nowhere in sight. Seriously, even when I move up in weights, someone must move up with me. I can NEVER find the dumbbells I need. I decided to use the bench and use the barbell for my overhead presses. I’ve never done this before. I add 2.5 pounds to each side to equal 50 pounds and sit down. Then I struggle to get the bar off the bench. I don’t know if it’s the angle or what, but I can’t lift it. I try and try – sweating profusely, cussing under my breath, and pretty sure with veins popping out of my head. So I stand up and move the barbell down to the lower level and voila! I can lift. I quickly look around to see if anyone is laughing at me, but no one was paying attention. I continued with my set without incident (although I did hit myself in the head with the barbell, I’m pretty sure no one saw).

Then there was yesterday. Again, I was without my workout buddy because I had to go earlier in the day. Someone had suggested that I bench press with dumbbells when I’m working out without a buddy to spot me. Again, start my routine without issue. I wasn’t feeling too hot, but I was making it. I then strut over to the dumbbells and grab two 30 pound dumbbells. I lay on the bench and CANNOT lift them even an inch. What the hell? I can totally bench press 60 pounds. I try a few times with some un-ladylike snorts and grunts and still can’t get any traction. So I sit up and accidentally smack my hip with the dumbbell. I say a choice word, and then lay back down to try again. Still can’t lift them even a little. OOOOFFFFFFFF. Alright, enough of this spectacle. So I slowly sit up and lug the weights back to the rack. Damn it. I felt foolish. I moved over to the bench and barbell and was able to knock out my sets – after second guessing myself on the mental math. I took off and reloaded the same two weights to the barbell twice. I know I looked crazy, but math is hard, okay?

I’m not a pro by any means so any tips regarding dumbbell bench presses are appreciated. And even though I’ve looked like an idiot the past couple of times, I’m not really embarrassed. All I have to do is checkout out my rearview in the mirror to know I’m doing work. 🙂
  

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My Journey at Six Months

I know that I have not done a lot of writing on my blog for June, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not busy writing.

 

Here’s a link to my guest blog submission for PumpUp. I hope you enjoy it.

 

 

 

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Well Hello June

Hey y’all. It’s June 1st! I can’t believe that half of a year has gone by since I started this blog. May was a very challenging month for me. I turned another year older, which doesn’t really bother me, but I ate a whole lot of cake at various birthday celebrations. My eating habits were not very healthy last month. I traveled out-of-town for three of the five weekends in May, and yeah, cake. So I was pretty nervous about stepping on the scale this morning for my monthly weigh-in. Turns out that I gained two pounds during the month of May. I’m not that happy about it, but I understand it. I actually think it is a credit to my continued dedication at the gym that I didn’t gain more. We’re talking about the girl who gained 15 pounds in a month-and-a-half last fall because of her travel schedule.

I still think I’ve made a lot of progress so I’m not going to beat myself up too terribly about the two pounds. However, I am dedicating June to renewing my focus on healthy eating choices. This will take some effort because my summers are pretty social. I can do it though!

 

Enjoying the Lake

 

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