Guess what?!? I’m lifting again. It kicked my ass, and it’s not as heavy as before, but I’m lifting again. It felt so good. I’ve missed it so. I forgot that exhilaration. I’m happy and sore. But oh so happy.
I’ve been visiting family this weekend and got to meet my baby cousin. Anytime I’m surrounded by my family and then come home alone, I get a little blue. Nothing major, but I feel the silence a little more keenly. When I got back into Nashville, it was gorgeous outside and in the 80s. I hauled my bag up to my apartment and then threw on a pair of jorts and decided to go to the grocery store. I knew that I needed to get in some activity today because I was lazy yesterday. However, I wasn’t feeling it. So I went to the store and then sprawled out to catch up on Outlander. I stuffed myself with junk food while doing so too. Ugh. I don’t know why I’m so insistent on self-sabotaging these days, but I am. Scratch that. I do know. I’m still smarting from the loss of a potential relationship. You know, the one I wrote about a couple of weeks ago. Well, he showed back up this week, and unfortunately he still wasn’t ready for something serious. I stood firm on what I needed, even though it was very hard for me to not cave. There’s nothing I wanted more than to see him, but I couldn’t do it halfway. So I chose not to see him at all. And now I’m awash in a fresh wave of sadness, and it sucks (quite the wordsmith I am).
As I was sitting on my bed feeling the guilty-full feeling of having eaten foods that I know are not good for me, I decided that my Sunday was not going to end on that note. There was still plenty of daylight left. I got my ass up and changed into a tank top and yoga capris. I laced up my hot-pink nikes and set out for the city. Without even really realizing it, I walked 2.41 miles and burned 606 calories. I chose a route along the river and made my way to the Shelby St. pedestrian bridge. I then wove back around to the middle of downtown and walked back to my apartment. It was a nice therapeutic walk. Even though the city was crowded with couples enjoying their Sunday kind of love, the city was also full of hope. I remember feeling that hopefulness when I first moved back here in November. I’ll hold onto that feeling and not take it for granted. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?
Tonight, I write about the contentment and joy of holding a beautiful new baby in my arms. New life is a precious and beautiful thing. Although I spent 4 hours in a car, and got little exercise today, I held my new baby cousin for the first time. It was love at first sight. I forget what a drug a new baby is. All my stresses and worries of the week simply melted away. Yes, I was lazy today. It was worth it.
It has been a long week. I am most glad that it is Friday. I got in some walking today during work because I walked to a nearby CLE (continuing legal education), but I fully intended to come home and collapse on the bed after work. However, when I left work around 5:30, I realized that it was far too beautiful outside for me not to take advantage of the early evening coolness. There was a cute boy who wanted me to “come party on Broadway” with him tonight (I swear those were his words). Although he was cute, I just did not have the energy to play nice with the opposite sex tonight. Getting dolled up and meeting someone out in the crowded, touristy part of Nashville just sounds too exhausting. So I decided to go on a run.
I accomplished two things tonight that I’m pretty proud of. I told you that I’ve been out of running shape and have only been doing interval runs and slow ones at that. I laced up and put in my headphones. I set out for the same course I ran on Wednesday night. I began to get a little irritated with myself because running tonight seemed so much more difficult than Wednesday. I was getting more winded tonight. To be honest, it was pissing me off. However when I hit a mile, I looked down and realized why! I ran my mile two minutes faster tonight than I did on Wednesday night. Don’t be too impressed. My mile on Wednesday was very, very slow. But still, I’m so happy that I got some of my old zeal back. It felt so good running tonight, even though I kicked my ass a little. Then after I finished my run, my Nike app told me that I completed 300 miles! So cheers to that!
PS: I forgot to post my awesome running pants tonight.
Pollen is out in full force. I love spring, but I hate pollen. If you read my post on Monday night, then you know that I’m suffering from allergies/sinus issues and not feeling too hot. Last night, thanks to a steroid shot, I was able to complete a full hour of hip-hop cardio. I burned over 1,000 calories too. It felt great, until we got to the cool down and stretching. It seems that my ears were still not cooperating, and my balance was a little off. I stumbled through every stretch, but I did not fall. So there’s that.
Tonight, I am in a mood. Lots of meetings at work. Lots of emotions flying around in my love life. I’m currently listening to a playlist called “Midnight Melancholy” on Google Play Music if that is any indication. But I am also practicing gratitude because even though it’s been one of those days, I am so grateful that I am the type of person who can feel deeply. There is no stone where my heart should be. That is for sure. But anyway, enough about that for now.
Back to my sinus issues. Because of pollen, I have become a glorified mouth-breather this week. Tonight, I got off of work and stumbled into my apartment. Unfortunately the wondrous effects of the steroid shot wax on and off. I flopped down on the bed and wanted to stay that way until morning comes. However, I have been griping about the weight I have gained recently and not being happy with the way my clothes fit right now. So I got up and completed an ab workout. Then I went for a 1.5 mile run. I am still not up to full running stamina so I started running every other song. I’m a fan of intervals (and catching my breath). However, tonight I got a little more than I bargained for because there were several cute boys along my path so I’d speed up and run even if I was on a walking song. I discovered a new area of town too. All and all, it was a good night. Plus, I’m continuing to monitor my sugar intake and keeping my calories in check. I feel so much the better for having exercised control over that part of my life again. Healthy habits are back, baby! Since you all have put up with my moody, whiny ways here lately, I will leave you with the glorious snapshot of me in all my mouth-breathing glory. Toddle-oo!
Nothing starts your week off like a shot in the ass. I’m not talking a shot of espresso either. I literally got a (steroid) shot in the ass today. The pain was worth it (I hope). Needless to say, I woke up this morning feeling terrible because of my old nemesis, pollen. Too bad I didn’t ditch him in the move. Nope. Pollen is terrible in Nashville too. So I am already cranky. I went into work for a little bit before my doctor’s appointment. Cranky. Walked the four or five blocks to the doctor’s office. Cranky. And then I stepped on the scale in the doctor’s office. Insert all your favorite expletives here. Needless to say, it was an eye opener. I’ve gained weight, and I’m not happy about it. I knew this day was coming. My eating has been out of control. My activity level has dwindled. I want to get back to being active five or six days out of the week. I want to start lifting heavy again. I want to start caring about what foods I put in my body again. I chalked it up to hormones, but I’ve gotten lax. I’ve been happy and less vigilant about my health. Going out to eat here and there, grabbing drinks with so and so. It adds up. Then both my work and love life spiked up the stress levels at the same time. My workweek last week was pretty stressful. I’m going through some emotional heart-break stuff. So I guess I got a little rundown. I’m cranky and angry today. I’m ready to turn over a new leaf. I need to leave past things in the past. I can’t focus on how much time I’ve spent abusing my body in 2016. I can’t think about where I’d be now, if I really buckled down in February like I said I was going to. I have to focus on today and the next. I’m hoping that once the steroid shot kicks in that I’ll feel well enough to get in a workout tonight. Right now, all I want to do is sleep and eat everything in sight (oh joy, increased appetite is a side effect of the steroid shot). I’ve decided that I am going to really focus on controlling where I’ve been the most out of control – eating sweets. I know that sugar is in almost everything and that a lot of foods have added sugar. So I am going to get back on the clean, whole foods train and try to eat less of processed foods. Specifically, I am going to pay extra attention to the total grams of sugar I’ve been eating. My goal is to eat no more than 25g of added sugar and focus on eating more natural sugars (like fruit). I know that this is going to be tough, but I need a good shot to the ass to get myself going again. So sugar-loaded foods, I’ve got you in my crosshairs.
You know that old saying, “hair of the dog that bit you” as a cure for a hangover. That sums up my thought process this week. I’ve worked a lot this week. I stayed late each night at work and then brought work home to continue working till late into the night. I didn’t make working out a priority. I only got to the gym on Tuesday night (but had a great workout). So I was frustrated this week. I was in a funk (for multiple reasons). Tonight, I got home from work after a long day and really just wanted to curl up and go to bed at 6pm. Instead, I forced myself to go on a walk for at least 30 minutes. It’s not the best workout, but it was better than nothing. I don’t like going two days in a row without some kind of activity. So I made myself a little exercise hair of the dog and went on a walk. Also, I have a date on Sunday. So there’s that hair of the dog too. I have a tendency to hold off on “getting back out there” because honestly, the thought of putting my heart through more torture is daunting. However, this is something that has limited me in the past. Something I’ve worked on over the last year is putting myself out there more. So now I go forth, and I date.
I can always tell when I’m working through my emotions at the gym. Or I guess dancing through my emotions. Tonight I went to dance blast cardio. I turned off mind and threw all my emotional baggage out on the dance floor. I can’t tell you much about the class, but I put my heart out there during every dance. I left after class still breathing heavily with sweat dripping from every inch of my body. I burned 1,174calories tonight, and my heart feels a little less heavy. It’s a start, and I bet I sleep well.
I am embarrassed to report that I am in a Monday funk. And it is nothing like Uptown Funk. Not at all. I’m off my game tonight. I’m sad. I didn’t even find the motivation to work out tonight, even though I know that usually puts me in a good mood and clears my head. I ended up working late tonight and missed the workout class I was looking forward to going to at 5:30. It was raining when I left work so a run was out of the question. Instead of rallying and heading to the gym to do some cardio, I let the funk overtake me. I didn’t even dance it out in my living room to at least get in 10 minutes of movement. Trust me, that’s not what I like reporting to you guys. I’m pretty mad at myself. Sure, I got some stuff done around the house like laundry and the dishes, and I brought some work home that I’m about to curl up with, but I feel like a failure tonight. Not because I missed a workout, but because I missed a workout due to feeling blah. I don’t want to do that.
But fret not friends. I’ll be back on my game tomorrow. I already am getting pumped about hip-hop cardio. It’s a little later in the evening, so even if I get stuck at work a little late, I won’t miss it. Also, I prepped my lunches for the rest of the week (jar salads), and will mix up some fridge oats once I finish up this post. So breakfast and lunch are set. I have a Mexican quinoa casserole in mind for dinner tomorrow night, which will give me leftovers to eat for dinner on Wednesday and Thursday night. I think I’m going to try a new ballet sculpt class on Wednesday night (I typed it here so I have to go now, right?) and plan to run on Thursday night. I’ve got this, funk or no funk.
Anyway, I’m setting all that out so that I hold myself accountable. I don’t want another night like tonight. I don’t like it, and I know that I am in control of how it goes for the rest of the week. Get thee away from me, funk. You heard me!
PS: I’m digging my writing space of late. My desk has a hinge top that opens for storage and charging your electronics out of sight. So I taped some motivational pieces to the inside and lift it up when I need extra motivation. Tonight was one such night.
Boys have cooties, right? That’s what I’m telling myself tonight. I said goodbye to a guy this weekend that I didn’t necessarily want to say goodbye to, but I know it was the best decision for the both of us. It doesn’t feel that way at all right now, but in time I know that it will be okay. So because I was in such a funk, I decided to go on a run. Clear my head and feel some sunshine. It was a great run, until I got into the heart of downtown. Having the downtown of a large city as your playground has limited drawbacks. However, tonight I realized just how many lovey-dovey couples were walking around downtown. It sucked. I know I’m being childish, but I didn’t want to see all those guys and gals holding hands, stopping to hold each other and admire the river, kiss on a corner while waiting for the light to change. Plus, they were walking side-by-side and taking up all the space on the sidewalk. So I turned up my music and pointed my feet away from downtown. At least I got sweaty and got my heart pumping. I’ll be okay.