Recently I’ve been grappling with a lot of emotional stuff related to my love life. I found out some things about a man I love, and I’ve been trying to process it all. It’s been difficult for me, to say the least. I’ve never been very good about opening my heart and being vulnerable with someone, and I was more so with him than anyone. So my heart feels pretty wide-open right now and that is petrifying. On top of that, I recently got a promotion at work so my stress level at work has been a little higher than usual. But, I am very excited about the promotion, and I love what I do. With all that said, I decided to get back to my yoga roots tonight. I hadn’t practiced yoga in some time. I miss the centeredness that I felt when I’d practice and how much I had to work at keeping my head clear and focusing on my breath. If you know me, you know that I’m a worrier and over-analyzer and can get lost in my thoughts – turning things over in my mind. It is hard for me to let things go, and sometimes it can be hard for me to relax. That is why I feel like it is very important for me to start incorporating yoga back into my life.
Unfortunately, there were no yoga classes that worked for me tonight at the Y. So I set out to practice in my teeny, tiny apartment. I downloaded a session through my on demand and spread out my yoga mat. It felt good to work on balance and feeling centered. I had to work through some pain. My knee is bruised from where I fell up the stairs at the YMCA on Saturday. Yes, you read that right. I fell up the stairs. I got my clumsy ass up and quickly trotted up to the group exercise room and still managed to rock out to some hip-hop cardio. But back to yoga. The time went by like no time at all. It came time for my favorite part of yoga – corpse pose. 🙂 However, I forgot how emotional I get when practicing yoga. Really tapping into my center and exhaling all the negative energies and emotions that I usually keep so bottled up. I cried. Anytime I practice yoga with something heavy weighing on my heart, I cry. Usually it is in a dimly lit exercise room at a gym, but tonight it was in my apartment, lying on my concrete floor. As much as I don’t like to cry, I really needed that release. It felt good to stretch and test my muscles while holding poses. I really need to get back to things I love, like yoga, instead of getting so distracted with the busyness of life. Things will always get in the way and demand my time. I have to do a better job of carving out that time for myself.
Also, I just have to brag. I haven’t been grocery shopping in a few minutes, and I really didn’t want to go to the store tonight. I have some baby spinach and portabella mushrooms that were about to go bad. So I decided to whip up a pasta dish on the fly to cook the expiring produce. I outdid myself. I threw stuff together and it actually tasted delicious! I’m a recipe-follower to my core, but tonight I just went with my gut and everything turned out alright. That’s not a bad way to end a Monday, if I do say so myself! (I ended up making sautéed mushrooms and baby spinach with garlic and a balsamic vinegar reduction. Poured that over whole wheat rotini and then threw in some feta cheese and basil. Voila!) Now someone kiss the cook. 🙂