Expecto My Patronus

Real talk: It is dark times for me right now, y’all. Like dementors are sucking out all my body-loving ability, dark times. So I’m summoning my patronus (if you don’t get these references, then please crawl out from under a rock and read some Harry Potter) to help me find my way back to the light. I’m actually writing this while sitting in the waiting room of my gynecologist’s office (who is running very behind). The purpose of my appointment today is to find out how my IUD is affecting my weight. I can’t seem to lose weight and have gained 40 pounds since getting my IUD put in with 25 of that being in the last year. I’m really really frustrated, and I’ve been hating on myself lately. So I’m sure you’ve noticed that I haven’t been writing much lately. I just haven’t felt like a stellar role model and not very healthy. 

Monday night, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror of the gym and was filled with such shame and disgust. I haven’t felt that way about my body in a long time, and it filled me with such sadness. But I haven’t weighed this much in 10 years, and it’s scary. 
Update, I have been diagnosed with PCOS. Apparently, it was being kept in check with hormonal birth control pills, but once I got an IUD there was no more hormonal balance. So all the weight gain is more than likely caused by the PCOS. It’s really frustrating that my body has been working against me the past two years, and I feel like I’ve lost so much progress. But at least I know a little more than I did. Hopefully, I can begin to tackle this thing even though I know it will be an uphill battle. 

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