Ugly cry gym face 

I got in a fight with someone tonight on the way to the gym. My feelings were so hurt. I was literally sobbing and ugly crying while driving to the gym. It was terrible. I had to sit in the parking lot for a few minutes and calm down. Lord, I walked into the gym with my mascara running and all blotchy-faced. The silver lining is that I put all that emotion into my workout. It physically hurts to type this post out right now. I pushed all my weights up to heavier and crushed it. So I’m going to consider this night a win. 

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Holy November Batman!

First of all, it hit 86 degrees here today. It does not feel like fall! I got my cardio in today. Last night I started a new month of workouts with my small group.  Last night’s workout was called “Leg Endurance Challenge” and boy was it! My legs felt okay all day so I decided to hit up my hip hop cardio class. I’ve been so busy that I haven’t gone in ages but have been running in the mornings instead. Man oh man! This class was all legs tonight. So many “drop-it-low” songs. My legs were screaming for sure after yesterday’s workout. So if y’all need me, I’ll be crying in a bubble bath. Wearing heels tomorrow is not going to be fun.

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Good Morning, morning

I’m going to see The Revivalists tonight, and I’m super pumped! Last night I kicked ass in the gym. Upped my weights on walking lunges, and just generally pushed myself harder. Since I’m going to the concert tonight, I got up early and got in a run before work. It was hot and humid here, but still a pretty morning.

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Death of a ballerina

You know how every little girl wants to be a ballerina at some point? Even I did. And in my misguided youth, I took ballet classes. I am anything but graceful, but I loved the thought of my little inner ballerina. Well, I just killed the childhood ballerina inside me. Tonight, I branched out of my comfort zone and took a ballet sculpt class at the Y. I’ve been wanting to take the class for months, but let every little excuse derail me from going. I was intimidated, but tonight I decided to give it a go. OH MY QUAD! I can already feel the burn, not just in my lower body but my shoulders, back, and biceps too. It kicked my ass! I do not make a very graceful ballerina, but I definitely gave it a shot. Oh, and I used a Pilates ring for the first time tonight.  That thing was invented by the devil. Holy hell, I hate that thing. There was one exercise we did where we squeezed the Pilates ring between our legs and lifted while lying on a stability ball. First of all, getting onto the ball with the palates ring clenched between my legs was definitely no graceful task. I pretty much dive-bombed the ball landing with a loud smack of my hands on the hardwood. At least I didn’t overshoot and go flying forward on my face, so there’s that. But I felt like I was staring in some kind of weird porn. Lying stomach down on the ball, pretty much squished my boobs up into my face. I love the girls and all, but I was very very aware of their presence and felt like at any moment they would rise up against me. Booby mutiny if you will. However, we finally finished that round of torture, and I gracefully (or not so much) slid from the ball to the floor into a crumpled heap.  But I survived.

As you know, music is my thing. Good music choice really takes my workout to another level. Although I enjoyed the ballet-sculpt class, I really hated the teacher’s musical choices. So I didn’t really get into it as much as I wanted to. And now my body is so sore, that I’m pretty sure that my inner ballerina has died.


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Shout, Cry, Sweat it all Out

Wow. I haven’t posted anything in a month. My apologies guys. Life has been flying by, and I’m not really sure where the time has gone. I’ve been really busy at work and really busy with a boy. But hopefully work will calm down, and well, where the boy is concerned, I’ll have some free time again.


This past weekend I met my sister and nephews at the beach, and I’ve got a post on the Ocean coming later this week. I’m entirely too pale to be at home on the beach. So needless to say, I got really burnt. I promise I put on sunscreen and re-applied! However, I still look like a giant lobster. It was really embarrassing going into work with a burnt, red face. I slathered my face in Vitamin E oil so not only was I bright red, I was super shiny too. Fun, Fun. I burnt my back too. Putting on a bra today was torture. When I got home from work, I really just wanted to take off all my clothes and just stand in front of the fan. However, I knew that I had to workout tonight. I slowly put on my sports bra, which felt like it was made out of razor blades. Oh man! I so didn’t want to go through with my workout. But I made a promise to myself, that I would get my ass into cardio blast tonight. Burns or no burns. I got my clothes on and did some heavy breathing. I then had an hour to kill before class started. I made the mistake of checking my newsfeed and someone posted a video that really got to me. I’m having an emotional day and working through some heartache (I feel like I am always typing that statement. One day. One day hopefully all this heartache will have happened for a reason). I called my best friend sobbing and hyperventilating. Really lovely stuff. However, I hung up with her, blew my nose, and laced up my tennis shoes to head to the gym. We had a sub tonight who was very enthusiastic and of course, did a lot of upper body work tonight. We focused on back and arms. Oh, did I forget to mention where I was sunburned the worst? My back. So every move tonight had the potential of being agonizing. But I really focused on getting lost in the music and working out my emotions. I ended up burning 1,000 calories. I came home and slathered up in more Vitamin E oil after my shower. Here’s hoping that I’m a little bit of a lighter lobster tomorrow!


A little pre-lobster sunbathing

Embracing my flaws and enjoying the beach!

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I flipped my dog!

If you’re keeping up with my posts, then you know that I’ve been riding the struggle bus. I’ve struggled lately with my eating and being consistently active. Well, I’m here to tell you that I went ahead and jumped off that bus. This week, I’ve been more active than I have been in a while. My eating has been okay. The biggest struggle I’ve had this week was actually eating. That sounds crazy, I know.  Anyway, I haven’t had a lot of time to eat during the work day so I grab something quick here or there.


Monday night, I tried a new dance blast class. Woo! I nearly died. It was very high intensity but so much fun! I always go so much harder when I’m in a new class because I feel like I have to prove myself. I ended up burning 1200 calories. Then, on Tuesday night I went to my regular dance blast (or hip hop cardio) class. We had a sub who was also really high intensity. So many squats, lunges, bounces, jumps, and lots of twerking. I walked out of there soaked in sweat. My legs still haven’t really forgiven me.  Last night I worked until around 7, so when I got home I thought about being lazy. However, I wanted to do at least a little something. So I ended up going on a brisk stroll around the bicentennial mall and then climbed up the hill to the capitol. And then there was tonight.


It has been a pretty busy and challenging week at work as I settle into my new role. I needed to clear my head for a bit and quit thinking about legislative edits. I decided to give the yoga class I tried two weeks ago another visit. The class two weeks ago had a sub, so I wasn’t sure what to expect with the new teacher tonight. It was a challenge. I really wanted to cuss while holding some poses or quickly flowing through sun salutations etc. However, I felt that might interfere with other people’s practice around me.  I was trying so hard not to get suffocated by my own boobs and really tried to reign in my loud and rapid breathing.


I really liked this yoga instructor though. She encouraged you to at least try some of the harder poses. She said, “You never know. Today could be the day you do it.” I liked that idea. Sometimes I put limitations on myself because I’m a fat yogi. I don’t test my body because I automatically assume that I can’t do something because I’m too heavy and my body won’t support me. Tonight, I challenged that idea. I actually went further in crow pose than I ever have before. I didn’t get there, but I got closer than ever. That was pretty exciting. However, the most exciting part of the night was when I flipped my dog.  You start out in downward facing dog and then extend one leg up into the air. We’ll use the right leg for this example. Once your right leg is extended upward, you then bend it and stack your hips.  Once you settle in there, you then rotate all the way around with the left arm supporting you to bring your right foot down onto the ground as you twist your body and flip it around.  I didn’t think that I would be able to do it.  Honestly, I didn’t trust just one of my arms to support the entirety of my body weight. However, the instructor encouraged me to give it a try. And you know what? I could do it! It felt really amazing to challenge and then shatter some negative preconceived notions that I had about my body.  How dare I place limitations on what I can do! I hate for others to put those limitations on me and to think that I can’t do something simply because of fat.  And here I was doing the exact same thing to myself.  So not only did I flip my thoughts, but I also flipped my dog. 🙂 Although it really isn’t all that advanced, I was pretty pumped! Namaste y’all! Have a great weekend.


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Pounding it out because Monday

I took my second Pound class tonight. No, I’m not learning how to prepare veal. I’m talking about an exercise class. It’s the class where you squat or lunge pretty much the entire class while pounding drumsticks like you’re a drummer in some kind of  cardio airband. You get a “break” by doing ab floor work.  My legs are like jello! Seriously, I was worried while walking to my car because my legs were shaking the entire time.  It was so fun though.  Completely therapeutic to pound out my Monday frustrations with a weighted drumstick.  It was especially fun when Dropkick Murphys came on the instructor’s playlist.  I sure felt like I was Shipping Up to Boston. Whew. So suck it Monday! You didn’t win this week.  What did you lovelies do to make today an active start to the week?

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Hormones are assholes!

There.  I’ve said it.  Hormones are assholes. What? They are! I admit that I’m not a scientist and really have no idea about the mystery that is the human body besides the basic stuff.  I mean, I know where babies come from and all.  But I don’t really know the interplay between a woman’s hormones and her healthy-living choices, for example.  What I mean by this is that this week, the hormones have hijacked my body.  I find myself wanting babies and boyfriends (don’t worry, this usually passes) and worse than that is that I find myself wanting to consume pure junk food, nonstop.  I know I’m prone to being dramatic, but I’m not exaggerating here.  All I want to do is eat junk (and procreate).  Luckily, I don’t go through this every month like some women.  It’s about once a quarter. Usually it aligns with a high-stress period in my life.

This past week has been stressful.  I had a presentation at work and worked really hard on it.  Plus the Ides of March came in like a shit-wrapped wrecking ball.  So it’s been a long week, and I’m definitely glad that it is the weekend.  I did pretty good at the beginning of the week, but once Thursday hit and my presentation was complete, all hell broke loose. I pretty much shoveled any kind of food (good or bad) into my mouth at a high rate of frequency.  I won’t even tell you how many cupcakes and donuts I have consumed in the past three days.  It’s embarrassing, and I can’t seem to stop myself.  I know that I will get back on track, and I have made sure to keep myself active during this period of my own personal all-you-can-eat buffet. But I thought I’d share, because you want to read the good and the bad, right?

My Fitbit activity says that I got in 328 active minutes the week — that’s 5.46 hours of active minutes.  I’m pretty happy with that. I went on a pretty awesome run this morning downtown, and a nature walk after work last night.  So even though my eating is off this week, my physical activity is most definitely not  So, here’s to next week guys.  Let’s crush it!







Don’t Let This Fat Fool You, Bruh. I Lift.

Last night at the gym, there were a few men acting very superior. Maybe they had a tough Monday, but one guy especially pissed me off. I’ve done a lot of research on my weight-lifting routine and watched multiple videos to make sure my form is correct. I’ve started out with a low weight and gradually built up the amount of weights I lift by five-pound increments over several months. I’m by no means lifting super-heavy, but I am lifting a decent amount. And I’m proud of how much I can lift now, especially considering where I started.

Just for those who don’t know, when lifting a barbell, the bar itself is 45 pounds and then you add weights to either side. There are also some shorter barbells that you can add weights to.  My workout buddy and I have long discussed how much these shorter bars weighed because we had no idea. We’ve asked around and were told inconsistent amounts.  I need to know so that I can accurately add weights to either side. So last night, I decided to ask my new gym’s staff how much those bars weighed so that I would finally be informed. He didn’t know which bar I was talking about at first (there is an ez-curl bar that felt really, really light and then another bar hanging up that was more what I was talking about). So we started back to the weight area, and I’m trying to explain what I want to know. He says, “ohhhh because the 45 pound bar is too heavy for you so you need something lighter.” He says this in a tone as if I couldn’t possibly lift 45 pounds, and it was patronizing. Um no. My reply, “No.  I want to know because on busy days, the barbells are all taken. I want to be able to accurately know how much weight to add. I just finished deadlifting 80lbs (3 sets in fact).” He looked at me with a very shocked face. The  comment and shocked response made me pretty mad, but I am used to people making snap judgments about my fitness level because of my appearance. Maybe I got so mad because just 15 minutes before, some guy inserted himself into my buddy’s workout routine, letting her know that she needed to get lighter weights, or because I had JUST shoulder-pressed the same amount (and sets) as the “dude” next to me (even though I’m not there to compete, I did notice). Either way, I wasn’t feeling a lot of love from my male gym-goers last night. Keep hating fellas, it just fuels my fire.



PS: Buzzfeed knows.


Well Hello June

Hey y’all. It’s June 1st! I can’t believe that half of a year has gone by since I started this blog. May was a very challenging month for me. I turned another year older, which doesn’t really bother me, but I ate a whole lot of cake at various birthday celebrations. My eating habits were not very healthy last month. I traveled out-of-town for three of the five weekends in May, and yeah, cake. So I was pretty nervous about stepping on the scale this morning for my monthly weigh-in. Turns out that I gained two pounds during the month of May. I’m not that happy about it, but I understand it. I actually think it is a credit to my continued dedication at the gym that I didn’t gain more. We’re talking about the girl who gained 15 pounds in a month-and-a-half last fall because of her travel schedule.

I still think I’ve made a lot of progress so I’m not going to beat myself up too terribly about the two pounds. However, I am dedicating June to renewing my focus on healthy eating choices. This will take some effort because my summers are pretty social. I can do it though!


Enjoying the Lake


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