body image

A Lesson in Body Security

I’m pretty sure everyone goes through periods where they hate things about their bodies. I know that I do. For years, I would let my body insecurity get the best of me. I was so self critical of how my body looked and how I didn’t look like most of the other girls in high school. I would worry about wearing shorts because of my big thighs, and I could never ever (and still to this day struggle to) wear those super cute knee-high boots that were always so popular and are still. Up until 8 months ago, I wouldn’t be caught dead with bare arms outside of the gym. Less than 2 years ago, I wouldn’t even wear tank tops to the gym because of how my bingo arms looked flapping around in Zumba class. I let my body insecurities define me. I still struggle with this from time-to-time. Most of the time I don’t wear shorts to the gym because of chaffing and riding-up issues more than insecurity, but the insecurity is still there.


However, it is time for me to get over this fear of being active in shorts. This fear that every single person in the universe is staring at my flappy thighs and cellulite craters. My legs are strong, and I should be proud of them. I play kickball, and I bought some cool knee-high-gym socks to wear while playing (your ankles get shockingly dirty without them). They say “thick chick” on them. I have another pair that say “deadlift diva” on them and are magenta. I bought them from SoxBox and a lot of people wear them to the gym. I’ve had the deadlift diva ones for a while, and I’ve been too chicken to wear them to the gym with shorts. My legs look terrible in them. But, I know that I will want to wear them to kickball, and I need to get over the fear of my legs offending the public if I go out in these knee-high socks and shorts. Last night, I made myself wear them to the gym. It was an example of “fake it till you make it” mindset. I was not confident in those socks. I didn’t feel strong. I didn’t feel awesome. But after I started my workout, I felt all those things. While wearing those socks, I completed a new PR for deadlifts at 115 lbs. I completed my workout without worrying so much about how I looked. I survived. No one laughed or pointed. I’m not embarrassed anymore. Now I can’t wait to debut my kickass socks at kickball on Sunday. I’m ready.

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Working toward that Bikini Body

I recently read a post on some form of social media (it’s Monday and my memory fails me as to which one) about how to get a bikini body. It pretty much went like this: 1) Buy a bikini and 2) put it on. I couldn’t agree more. I was once in the school of thought that I would never be caught dead in a bikini. No way was my white flabby tummy ever seeing the light of day. NEVER! When I was a pre-teen, I’d even opt for a t-shirt over my one-piece swimsuit.  Then I turned thirty and all fucks flew out the window (sorry Memaw). 

I saw a really cute retro bikini, and I decided that I must have it for my next vacation. It started out only making appearances in small circles and foreign countries. Now, it is my favorite swimsuit. I even bought a new bikini top for this summer to change it up a little. I’ve seen the vitriol spouted by some about fatties in bikinis.  Who cares? Does it really matter what we wear to the beach or pool or lake? Does it? It’s hot as hell outside.  Can’t we all try to beat the heat together and present a united front against a sweaty summer?


I recently have been feeling body-conscious and needed the reminder that I gave up caring about what my body looks like in a swimsuit. So I encourage you to wear whatever you feel most comfortable in this summer, and if you want a bikini body just follow this simple guide: Buy a bikini and put it on.


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